This Time Last Year

I'm not going to lie. This time last year I was in an extremely difficult place in my life. I felt so completely and utterly lost. Looking back, I'm so happy all of those horrible things happened, only because I am so much stronger because of it.

This time last year, I was cut off from the most important financial support I had. I lost a job that I felt extremely attached to and had plans to achieve in. I had a family obligation to succeed in this business and as a first born, a role model for my family, I took this very seriously. It honestly came as a huge shock to me, but now I understand why no one should ever work with family (ever).

This time last year, I found myself lost and confused on how to manage myself-- life, work, money-- everything. I found out that I had become too comfortable with the luxuries money could provide and in a way, I found myself forging relationships with toxic people in order to continue receiving these benefits. I relied heavily on my family for everything, literally everything. And that's not necessarily a bad thing... We were a very united family. 

This time last year, I found everything had just imploded. Once again, I had to be the support system for my mother, who I have always had a special bond with, but somehow ended up resenting for the terrible year ahead. It was in no way, shape or form her fault that bad things happened to us. It was definitely not her fault. But my angry attitude towards her was almost like a defense mechanism; a way for me to brush everything off and pretend like everything was fine, for her sake. 

Although this past year was the most emotionally and financially challenging one yet, I am so grateful that it all happened. 

At the time, I didn't understand why bad things happened to good people, or why bad people are drawn to dishearten (if that's the word) the good people. But somehow, this year, I am able to understand that bad things happen to rid your life of those exact things or people, in my case. You realize that people who you trusted, shouldn't be trusted at all. Some acts of manipulation and brain washing can't be forgiven (and they really shouldn't be forgiven tbh).  

These events occurred and in the end, toxic relationships were broken, I realized my own financial potential, and to some degree, became independent and realized I could "adult" all on my own (shocker!).

It was the most emotional and mentally exhausting year for me and my (now) little family, but I am so grateful for it. 

This time last year, I was a mess. But looking back at all the things that happened 12 months ago, I realized how much I have grown. I am so much happier and mentally healthier. In case you were wondering, I now only form non-toxic relationships and seek people who build me up. I appreciate the relationship I have with my supportive boyfriend so much more! I have a better relationship with my mother and I try to build her up and support her as much as I can. I am able to provide for myself financially and have a super amazing job that I really do love!

All in all, I am so much more confident in my abilities, goals, and decisions. I literally bought a car last month and didn't have to ask one damn person for permission (probably super pathetic, but a big deal for me!).

It was a hell of a year for me, but I wouldn't take it back for the world.

If you're having a bad day, a bad week, or even a bad year, just know that (as cliche as this sounds) it will get better. You will learn from your mistakes. You will rid your life of the bad and somehow, you will move on to better things in your life.